Hate Crime Elegance
Dear Fellow Haters,
Just a short, timely, advance note to give 2024 a grand boost. 2023 is looking pretty thin and the weather’s bad so it’s just plain NDF(No Damn Fun) getting out there and threatening and cruelling and you people lack imagination anyhow, so we over here at H.A. have compiled some valuable tips and indications for how to cause professional-like design tension that are guaranteed to revive your New Year’s Resolutions and Hate Event planning.
For those of you this winter season, who are no longer feeling fulfilled or validated by the same old dangling effigies, we offer curling up by a crackling fire with your own, hard-bound copy of Zygmundt Hellmann’s Compendium of Slang and Slur with over seventy full-color illustrations of misery. Here at H.A., we know how hard it is anymore to intimidate with out-dated, juvenile epithet. The cohesive, clean feel of Zyggie’s scholarly work on denigration is a fountain of insults, oaths and imprecations that left us wintering here in H.A’s headquarters, feeling as if we’d gotten warm hugs at the end of the day. Because of the color detail, Mr. Hellmann’s volume is well worth the insignificant expense of $29.95 and will make staying stuck home during the Riot off-season a fun place to be.
What we’re going for here is hate crime elegance. How cute is that concept!
Oh, how we know pairing or ganging-up during this grey, chilly, damp time of year, seeking-out and destroying the painfully few on-street, assaultable victims can leave a hater feeling isolated, unfulfilled and depressed.
It’s so fun to decorate other people’s houses and lawns in all seasons, but you’ll want to vary the textures of darling items of interest to tie your hate desecrations together. You will want to get away from the formal, trite undertones you people have been going with. You will also want to get out there in more daring outfits. In your victim’s neighborhood, in a black hoodie - really, people! – a hoodie? That is SO expected! You’ll be spotted immediately. Why not go big bling this year!
And color. Seriously, you experienced haters. Get with it! Get away from the primary colors. The elegant trend is definitely attractive, blended hues that can’t be described accurately to the Police.
Enjoy!